Friday Rituals: Part X

That night, as I sat eating my dinner of oatmeal, accompanied by a beer, the phone rang. I picked it up. “Hello?”

“Sarah, this is Lady Madonna returning your call.”

“Hi…um…I’m pondering your question regarding my dedication to submission. I have tried doing some reading, but I feel like I’m more confused than when I started.”

“What you’re going through is normal. Few slaves know from the beginning that they want to be slaves. What is more important here is how much control over your life are you willing to hand over? I can’t tell you that. What I can tell you is just as there are many variations of submission, there are many variations of domination. It’s a matter of meeting the right person, and the two of you mutually agree what relationship you seek.”

“So what am I supposed to tell you in a month?”

“Simple things. Do you want a mistress, or a master, or it doesn’t matter. Do you want to live as a slave 24/7, or is your submission a periodic scenario? What kind of submission do you enjoy most? Bondage, spanking, humiliation, or sensory depravation? My sessions with you will give you a sampling of the basics.”

“I didn’t think I needed to analyze myself so deeply.”

“You have to, or this will never work for you. BDSM is not whimsical matter, unlike what song you want to listen to at a certain moment. For BDSM to have a positive influence in any participant’s life, that person must be in a constant state of self-analysis.”

“Ok.”

“Look, quit making it so hard. Ponder what you’ve enjoyed thus far. Are those things you’ve enjoyed so far?”

“Absolutely!” I stated.

“Then ask yourself if that’s what you want the rest of your life. With each session, take it from that simple formula. With the other additional pieces I’ve given you to think about, you’ll be able to answer me in a month’s time.”

“All right. Then, I’ll see you in two weeks for the next lesson.”

“See you then.”

We hung up, and I sat on my couch, reliving the last two sessions. The question of mistress or master…I don’t think it matters. My relationships with men haven’t been all that successful, and the most recent session rocked my world like I’d never been rocked. So, I didn’t feel that I was going to eliminate a prospect based on sex.

I drank the last of my beer, turned off the lights, and walked quietly through my silent apartment to my bedroom, to my solitary bed.